750 Thread: A Love Poem

750 THREAD

Each night I carefully unfold the fabric

that held us together

and lay it delicately over my torso.

Wrapping my arms around it

I hold the ghost of you

molding your creases to me

as I breathe you in

exhausting my grief and expounding my love and gratitude

to experience again what it is like to have you in my arms.

Feeling the warm pulse of your body

as the blood I cherish so deeply

courses through your veins.

You turn.

Your vulnerable eyes

hold me in a loving stillness

that seems to last

forever.

Your soft supple lips smile

as you press your heart against mine

and lovingly whisper in my ear

“You got this babe.

Find yourself.”

reminding me

how alive you are.

I breath you in

and with an exhale

sigh

love

on to your neck.

I talk to you.

Saying what I never knew I didn’t

until I relax into the stillness of the night

Feeling you

curled tightly into me

seamlessly one

as I lay there

holding you silently

telling you

I am here

and

we are safe.

Keeping you warm.

My fingers crawl through your hair

and my arm crosses your heart

and holds you tight.

Each night I play the movie over and over

again

and again.

Each morning only to awaken and see

that the only heart I was holding

was my own

Stains harbor below

from unheard tears

dripping down my face

on the beautiful fabric that I treasure and continues to hold me.

Reminding me of you.

Reminding me why I am alone.

Inspiring me to find home

and breaking my heart open even more.

So that I never again not hear it.

So that I will never again leave myself

So that I will never again leave love.

The sheer deep plum color of your ghost

provides the unnecessary knowing

that for a moment

just a moment

I had my queen in my arms.