Updated: Jul 13, 2022
Every since I was a child I have always seen people's eyes first. At times it was and still is the only thing that I see - especially with women. I used to wonder if it was because I was being polite, but I later realized it was because it was only there that I could see everything that ever truly mattered. The heart. The soul. Myself. The moment. The reason I exist the inspiration of creation. For nothing has moved more hearts and men then the eyes of a woman.
Music Credit: The Southern Sea by Garth Stevenson
Photo Credit to so many incredible photographers and souls I do not know.
They give me hope.
For all of mankind.
When I look in them
I get lost
that there is something
so much greater
I have ever conceived of.
I remember that 'now'
and finally understand
why men fight for the future.
For in the quiet stillness
of that moment
in your eyes
everything else ceases to exist
yet I experience everything,
perhaps for the first time,
My clouded vision of old,
a painted glass canvas of limited
ideas and beliefs
The loyal fog
that I have played in
finally begins to thin
and, wrapped in a soft breeze,
playfully drifts through the air
and casually transforms
into the nothingness.
Unraveling everything that thought was
Leaving me to float in a warm darkness that envelops me
and holds me asking me to just breath
until I can be still
so I can be present for
I see the dawn break
revealing a vast horizon
of new worlds of unlimited potential
across a landscape that I remember from my dreams
laying the ground for a new story
It is the stuff
composed of legends written in love
I return to your eyes and see so clearly
how I have been fighting
to prove myself worthy of you again
and hid the parts of me that I hated
and in the process
and everything we ever created
only because I forgot what I am
only because I could not look in your eyes
long enough to feel
in your reflection
everything that I was protecting.
keeping my worthlessness from you
avoiding my deepest truths
hidden from my consciousness.
hidden from letting you see
That I had created a problem
I was not truly trying to solve
because I was scared
to feel you again
to remember what love felt like
to lose you again.
I left to be more.
So you could accept me.
but In that moment
my life as I knew it
and I became less
no longer accept myself.
what I have been doing
I see you
for all of life.
laying down across from me
taking your eyes in
I let them to strip me of
my protective fabric
allowing you to see
my deepest shame
my greatest fears
and my confusion that everything I thought I was fighting for
had been a lie.
It was a story I believed and blamed you.
And as the pages began to vanish
on the other side
were your eyes.
Angry and Present
Sad and Patient
Loving and Compassionate
waiting for me
Sad and angry at what I had done, but even more at forgetting what I am.
as the grief flows from my eyes
into the very ground I was sent to protect.
And as I look up I see
and I begin to remember.
That I am a creator
and that I have a choice.
To continue to write the same story
with different faces
and different places
to remember who I am
and receive the gifts of this life with gratitude
Claiming my own divinity and
finally picking up the pen
writing the story that has been,
for all of time
waiting to be told.
The entire universe eagerly
awaiting our choice. My choice.
Because it is my responsibility
For we are one.
I see your grief and your anger
for leaving you
to try to fix what was not broken.
Scared to feel the abyss of my shame
thinking is was bottomless
I left to be better
and so you couldn’t see me in my grief
in my self-loathing
in my own perceived weakness
in my incompetence
thinking it would make me less whole
forgetting that was part of my wholeness
it was there
in your arms
that I could find my strength
to stand again
and face the army of any demon
I created for myself to play with.
And come home to myself. To you.
I see your grief that
my inconsistent winds have
caused you to lose trust in me
impulsively following gusts of fear
and going at it alone.
instead of the constant stream of my heart
and letting you in.
I never wanted to leave you
but because I couldn’t hear you
over the chaos of my fears.
Forgetting that we are one.
That what I could not see
could only be seen together
That the only thing I needed to do was
sit and just feel all of it
We can choose
my fellow brothers.
To love. To protect. To be constant.
To be the tree with roots so deep
that should lighting strike
it would only add character
to its ever growing and expanding pillars
that reach into far away lands
and endlessly into the sky for her to climb on
and dance under.
and like a flower
Reminding us why we live
and inspiring us with their
vibrant song to be more.
Or to continue to forget.
To take. To hurt. To intimidate.
To run. To freeze. To hide. To control.
All because we forgot our own divinity
All because we forgot to love ourselves.
A greater self that can only be reflected back from the eyes of a woman.
You are the one thing we can never conquer
For it is why we fight. And even that is because we are lost
For if we could only see what has been right in front of us all along
The Earth would tremble in resounding joy
as all arms fell to the ground
and in a moment of silence
the only question that can be heard
in total disbelief is. . .
What have we been doing?
Become unshakable my brothers
and if you are shaken
feel the tremors
letting them guide and delight you
with the opportunity
to grow deeper, higher and wider
expanding into new lands
and what you never knew possible.
And provide a glorious canopy that love
can dance endlessly under
climbing your branches to safely see the world
sensuously bitting into your fruit and sucking the sweetness from your branches
as the juice pours down her,
through and over her vessel,
inspiring her to create