Free Writing Entry: Remembering You
4 Minutes & 4 minutes
I think about you and wonder. I long to reconnect only I also long to reconnect with myself. My own heart so that I can show up with all of me. With a heart wide open, a clarity of what matters, a love that is unbending to fear and a presence that is only matched by my love for you and the universe around us as we dive into the knowing of all time and co-create from there. REmembering that there is love everywhere and it is inside of you. Inside of me.
Lost and forgotten all at once as things evolve into the knowingness of everything. The love of all. The trust. Oh the trust. To remember you. To remember your smell. Your taste. Your love. Your laugh. Your breath. Your voice. Your song. Our habits. Your presence. Your impenetrable love for all that you did and the gifts you gave to all that you touched. Even the parts I hated I loved. I remember. And your mother. What a sweet soul. What a woman that would look past you and into your heart and soul and wonder what it is that is real? Why I often ask. Why are you here and what is happening? Why are you with me because I didn't know why I was with me. I wasn’t. I didn't have myself and longed to know myself. Lost in space and time trying to remember why I was here. Why I was worthy? Why I could be loved? And how to love myself again not just through your eyes but my own. There are times I wonder. Can I learn to play again? Letting the love of time ooze through me as I slowly stop, feel and remember myself. My own. My body. My soul. Reconnect to myself. To my body and allow things to be felt. To fall in place and be seen by everyone around me. Having patience with myself and discover the unknown saying again
I know nothing.
There is a land beyond time that awaits all of us. Lurking in the distance beyond fear beyond knowing and beyond the possibilities of what was once thought possible.
There is the stillness of the horizon of time, the distance that calls us again to walk. To take our time and be present with every step as we look into the future and learn to love ourselves and one another and see the distance that we have traveled and the ones that we have loved. To know that there is always more and that there is always time. IT is endless and what we make it.
It is the mold that we use to craft our lives around a space of knowing and loss and love There are times that we forget that and the steel structures of time and the placement of our hearts into the lost elements of the unknown and the only spaces that we thought were possible. Those are the next possibilities. Those are the spaces that we look to know and discover a new earth, a new us, a new place that is beyond us yet it is us. It is us. And we are it. It is home just as it always is and will be. Can we give ourselves the space and time to discover it. To remember it again for the first time. Like a lover. Like a muse. Like lust. Like the euphoric roller coaster ride of life. Let it unravel your heart and reveal itself to you as you reveal yourself again to it.